Shortly before I left for Europe, I watched an interview where Tori Amos talked about Neil Gaiman, and she mentioned that he's constantly watching. Most people don't realize it, but when you're around him he is observing everything so that he could possibly use it in a story someday.

People don't realize that I do that too. And it's not like something I make myself do, it happens automatically. I naturally take people and their situations in and log them within myself for future reference.

It's a very useful ability for a writer, but it's one that sometimes makes me hate myself. Because everything is fair game to inspiration even the pain of people close to me. And I hate that. I absolutely hate it.

Someone I know is currently going through some relationship issues, and she was telling me about them yesterday and in the middle of listening I thought to myself, "That would fit perfectly in a story." But I immediately felt horrible about it.

This is my friend's life. My friend's pain. I have no right to use that in my stories even if I fictionalize it. What kind of person would do that?

I just feel this deep hurt within me, because on the one hand my inspiration wants to play around with this soil that her situation has provided but my heart just feels so disgusted with the idea of doing so. I know it's not like I'm actually toying with her situation, but it still somehow feels like I am. Like somehow I'm trivializing it or like I'm using her.

Being a writer is painful work, you know...Very painful.